Top tips to help you out
- Find ways to help you remember your loved one
Having ways to remember your loved ones after they have passed will help you come to terms with the loss: creating mementos, taking time to think about the memories you have, and talking to others.
- Think about the pain that you are feeling
Remember that it is normal to feel pain after you have just lost somebody. Do not be afraid if you are feeling sad or feeling pain; this is a natural part of the grieving process.
- Don’t be afraid to get help if you need it
Everybody copes with grief in their own way, and some cope better than others. If you are struggling to come to terms with the loss, do not be afraid to reach out and get help.
- Take your time
Coming to terms with a loss does not happen overnight. Take the time that you need to make sure you are able to manage your bereavement properly.
What is bereavement?
Bereavement is the feeling of mourning or grief after the death of a loved one or somebody close to you. When somebody dies, there will be a period during which many people might feel and respond differently as they take time to come to terms with the loss of that person.
There is no right or wrong way for people to feel when they lose somebody: some people will cope perfectly fine and be able to resume as normal, some will struggle for some time, and others may be deeply affected by the loss. It is important to understand that it is completely normal to have strong feelings afterwards, and they might include:
- Feeling confused, scared, numb or low and feeling like you have lost control
- Feeling intense confusion, and feeling like things will never go back to normal
A lot of people dealing with bereavement feel like they will never get over the loss, and that these feelings will last forever. It is not true. Everybody comes to terms with death in their own way and in their own time. Feelings of bereavement are temporary and as you come to terms with the loss of a loved one, the feelings will start to pass but the memories will remain.
You should not put any pressure on yourself to feel better any sooner than you need to, and you should give yourself the time that you need to come to terms with the loss. You may find that you feel very similar if you lose a pet, or stop talking to a friend. These feelings may not only arise when you have lost a loved one to death.
Saying goodbye to loved ones
Saying goodbye to loved ones after they have passed away is an important process. It is not just an important part of the grieving process and a way to get closure, but an opportunity to celebrate their life. Celebrations can include:
- Funerals and services
Often, there is a funeral or memorial service that takes place to help people celebrate the person’s life, and to help loved ones say their final goodbyes. People will celebrate in different ways: either traditional or religious services, or services requested by the deceased person.
- Cremations and burials
After a loved one has passed, they may be buried in a graveyard at a burial service, or cremated. If they are cremated, their ashes may be buried, stored in an urn or scattered at a special or meaningful location.
Coping with bereavement
Talk to someone
Talking to someone throughout the grieving process is important. Make sure that somebody close to you, who you trust, is aware of how you are feeling. Keep in touch with people so you can support each other, especially if you’re all close to the person who has died.
When somebody dies, they may leave a lot of unanswered questions that you think you will never be able to get the answers to. This is not necessarily the case. Think of the questions that you have, and ask the most appropriate person to find the answers.
Understand your grief
Take the time to really understand your grief. Everybody grieves in different ways and some cope better than others. If you take the time to understand how you are coping, you will be better able to support yourself in getting through this period of grief.
It is really important to support yourself both psychologically and physically. Although it seems hard, try to get out of the house, get fresh air and get exercise. Keeping yourself physically active will help to boost your psychological health as well.
I think I might need some help... what do I do?
If you have recently lost somebody and you are struggling with the grieving process, it is really important that you start thinking about reaching out to somebody. There are so many different options that you can think about, and all of them will be able to help you some way. Do not suffer in silence; reach out to someone now to start getting the help that you need.
If you are struggling, reach out to somebody and get the support you need.
Speak to us
You don’t need to suffer in silence. If you are struggling to come to terms with the loss of a loved one and you would like to talk to someone, out friendly mentors will always be on hand to talk with you.
Speak to somebody that you trust
It is really important that somebody close to you, who you can trust, knows about how you are feeling so that they can be there for you when you need them.
Speak to a counsellor
If you are struggling to come to terms with the loss of a loved one, or you feel that the grieving process is going on for too long, it may be a good idea to reach out to a counsellor who can provide grief support.
Managing life around bereavement
Any form of bereavement brings a tough time for people at any stages in their life, and it may feel like the world doesn’t slow down to help you recover.
- I am at school
Speak to a parent or carer, or a teacher who you trust to help you with this. You will be able to take time out of school to help you come to terms with your loss, and your teachers will be understanding.
- I have exams
Most exam boards will have policies in place to help people struggling due to bereavement. Speak to a teacher at your school for more advice.
- I am working
If you are working and need to take time out, most companies will have policies in place to make sure that you can take leave to help come to terms with the loss of a loved one. Make sure you use these policies if you need to.